


Fall For You

by AlxSteele



Series: Through The Looking Glass [26]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - This World Inverted (Shadowhunters TV), Developing Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Malec, Nightmares, Talking, more fluff than angst!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2016-07-12
Packaged: 2018-07-23 12:38:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7463601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlxSteele/pseuds/AlxSteele
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set in the alt. universe of This World Inverted: Magnus and Alec have had their share of ups and downs recently, will they finally start to figure things out?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fall For You

**Author's Note:**

> Is it just me or are my synopses getting worse? Sometimes, I just can't synopsis. Things would've been simpler if I'd known from the beginning how much I was going to write here, then I would've made it a chaptered fic...alas, I planned like five one shots and then people (YOU!) put all these IDEAS in my head. This is why I love you, by the way. And now I'm rambling, onto the part! Here we have resurgence of more fluff than angst! Everyone wave goodbye to the angst!
> 
> Title from Fall For You by Secondhand Serenade

Alec didn’t know what he was doing.

Okay, that was a lie, he knew exactly what he was doing and why he was doing it. But he also knew he probably shouldn’t be.

He shouldn’t be going to Magnus’ in the middle of the night so he could crawl into bed and sleep next to him. He shouldn’t be doing that before they even finally got around to talking. He shouldn’t be doing that when Magnus had been avoiding him again, when Magnus had tried to break up with him.

Alec shouldn’t be going there when he wasn’t even sure what — no. Alec was sure of what he wanted, he _knew_ what he wanted, he just wasn’t sure how to get it.

He knew exactly what he was feeling and thinking. He just didn’t know if Magnus felt the same. Even after Magnus fixed the spider problem, even though Alec was sure that was a sign that…that Magnus didn’t mean it…wanted to fix things…right?

Alec shook his head, trying to turn his thoughts off.

He still had the key Magnus had given him in his pocket, he played with it as he walked upstairs to the loft. He was just going to sleep, he told himself. Sleep because he was exhausted and didn’t sleep well without Magnus… When had that even happened? He couldn’t remember.

Plus, there were the nightmares… Even when Alec did manage to sleep, it never lasted long.

Just sleep, he told himself. But the more he walked – slowly, like he wanted time to change his mind – the more he thought and the faster his heart beat; the more confused everything got once more.

He raised his hand to knock, but the door opened before he could. Magnus stood there and Alec forgot to breathe. His hair was a mess, his shirt was a size too big and had a hole in the sleeve, his sweats hung low on his hips, briefly distracting Alec who had to force his eyes to remain on Magnus’ face.

Magnus looked slightly better than the last time Alec had seen him — which made Alec’s heart twist painfully — the circles under his eyes were less pronounced and he even managed to smile a little, stepping back to let Alec in.

“Did you see me coming?” Alec asked, and then cleared his throat when his voice came out hoarsely.

Magnus shook his head. “Magic,” he said, waving his fingers in front of Alec’s face as Alec stepped past him.

Magic, Alec thought, shaking his head. He wanted to ask Magnus a million questions, but suddenly it was hard to breathe. The room was the same size as ever but felt smaller.

“Right,” Alec ended up muttering.

Magnus shut the door, leaning back against it and glancing away. He wouldn’t meet Alec’s gaze, like he was suddenly shy again and it made Alec smile.

Alec’s voice was soft, almost too quiet to hear and the question didn’t surprise either of them. “Why are you still avoiding me?”

Magnus shrugged. Opened his mouth. Closed it again.

Alec rambled, too tired to keep his thoughts to himself. “It’s just…the spiders. You took care of them, right? And then I called you again and you didn’t answer. I’m… Haven’t we been over this? I’m the one who should be avoiding you.”

Magnus flinched and, even though Alec was pacing, trying not to look at him, he still noticed.

“I don’t want to avoid you, Magnus. I…” Alec trailed off because he couldn’t say the rest. That he wanted to be with Magnus, wanted to work through this. That he wanted to understand Magnus and learn all about his past and everything else. That they would have to work on it, slowly because Alec was still hurt that Magnus had never told him before, hadn’t trusted him. That part of Alec was still wondering if Magnus would’ve ever told him, if Izzy hadn’t gotten hurt. If one day, he would’ve just…pushed Alec away.

Like he was already trying to do.

Alec couldn’t say that he’d thought they were in love but he didn’t know how to handle this. That it wasn’t fair for Magnus to push him away and he didn’t know _why_. That he didn’t know what it meant. Was Magnus -- did he still want to be with Alec? Why would he? Alec was just…normal. Just Alec Lightwood. Magnus was four hundred years old, he could be with anyone, why Alec? What made him any different?

They were both painfully quiet and, once again, Alec couldn’t hold himself back. “We never even got to talk about everything.”

***

Magnus couldn’t breathe. He was so pissed at himself. Because here he was, breaking Alec once more. Pushing Alec away and then falling right back and then pushing him away again.

Magnus had sensed him coming long before Alec reached the door. At first, he wasn’t going to answer, was going to pretend to be gone, but he couldn’t do that to Alec. That, and he was weak.

And here Alec was, eyes on fire, glaring but also looking a second away from shattering.

I did that, Magnus thought. This is all my fault.

He wanted to fix it but… But he was terrified it was too late and he didn’t really know what he was doing anymore.

“I—“ Say _something_ , Magnus thought. _Say something now, fix this, before it’s too late._

Alec waited, turned to face him, something like hope in his eyes.

“I… I may be four hundred years old, but I’m really not good with words, Alexander,” Magnus finally spit out. He leaned his head back against the door, closing his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“I know that Magnus…that’s —”

Magnus opened his eyes as Alec hesitated. Alec’s eyes were closed now. He swallowed and Magnus mimicked the action.

“That’s something I’ve always loved about you, it’s… Before I knew just how old you are but… I need…something. Why…? I thought we—” Alec cut himself off, shaking his head.

Magnus’ heart was attempting to run away, beating so fast it was all he could feel. Magnus waited until Alec met his eyes, “You thought what?”

Alec turned away, pulling at his hair and kicking his shoes off at the same time. The gesture made Magnus’ heart slow, calming him because Alec wasn’t planning on leaving anytime soon.

Alec’s voice was wobbly, not sure at all, and he didn’t turn to face Magnus, staring at Chairman Meow, who watched them from the couch with wide eyes.

“No. I get a question first,” he said. “Are we…” he took a deep breath, swallowing so hard Magnus could hear it. “Are we broken up?”

Magnus, who had started across the room to have something to do, paused. His mind short-circuited, spinning around and around. Were they? He’d been the one to try to break up with Alec but Alec had refused and Magnus… Magnus never wanted to break up in the first place. It was the last thing he wanted, to be honest. Just the thought…

“No,” Magnus breathed out. Then again, more firmly. “No.”

Alec nodded, still facing away from him. “I thought we were falling in love,” he said and Magnus’ brain short circuited.

“I thought you trusted me but then… You didn’t tell me anything Magnus, nothing about your past or who you are, and I don’t know _why,_ because you’re pushing me away instead of telling me and I just… I don’t know if I know you anymore.”

Magnus’ shoulders dropped, his chest caving in on him. His gaze narrowed and he felt lightheaded, staring at Alec’s back. He couldn’t focus, couldn’t decide what to do...

Finally, taking an unsteady step, he said, “I _do_ trust you, Alexander… It was never about that.”

Alec turned around, jaw clenched, spine stiff. He shook his head slowly. “Then,” he started calmly but quickly his voice rose. “Then why are pushing me away? Why did you try to break up with me instead of talking to me?”

“ _Because,_ ” Magnus practically shouted, needing everything to just stop for a moment. He breathed in raggedly and looked away from Alec.

“Because, you deserve better than me, Alec.”

***

Alec couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He literally couldn’t believe it. He shook his head; sure he’d heard Magnus wrong. “What?”

Magnus looked him in the eyes this time, voice barely more than a whisper. “You deserve better than me, Alec. I’m a four-hundred-year-old mess. Isabelle got hurt because of me, because I was hunting the wolves. And…I’m hurting you. You deserve someone who would _never_ hurt you.”

It was too late for this conversation, Alec knew. His mind spun around the words Magnus continued to say.

Alec paced back and forth, two steps one way, two steps the other. He wanted to grab Magnus and make him realize just how crazy he was, but he restrained.

“Magnus,” Alec stopped pacing and cut in softly.

Magnus was listing reasons now, why Alec deserved someone better than him. How didn’t Magnus know, Alec wondered? How didn’t he know that Alec… It didn’t matter if Magnus thought Alec deserved more or not. It didn’t matter if it was true. Alec sure as hell didn’t think it was. But it didn’t _matter_. Because Alec wanted _Magnus_.

Magnus cut himself off slowly, looking up to meet Alec’s gaze as he stepped closer. The nervous energy that had surrounded Magnus when he opened the door was gone, he was breathing heavy. Alec heard the stutter in his breath as he stepped closer, nearly sharing the same breath now.

“Shouldn’t,” Alec started, his eyes strayed to Magnus’ lips and he had to force himself to look back at Magnus’ eyes. He licked his lips, then asked, "Shouldn’t _I_ get to decide that?”

Alec watched Magnus blinking slowly, thoughts swirling in his mind. He waited for a beat, two. Magnus didn’t look away, but he didn’t say anything either.

“I didn’t come here to talk…” Alec said softly. “We should just…sleep.” Alec felt a quite desperate need to kiss Magnus but he knew he couldn’t do that. Not right then.

“Please?” Alec said, licking his lips and being sure not to look at Magnus’. “I can’t… I can’t sleep, without you.”

Magnus nodded slowly.

He took Magnus’ hand, heading to the bedroom. They laid down next to each other, stiff and uncomfortable until Alec turned over onto his back and tugged Magnus closer.

Once they were comfortable, Magnus’ head on Alec’s chest above his heart, Alec’s arm wrapped around Magnus, Magnus finally found words. “We have to talk…”

“I know. We will.”

***

Magnus woke not an hour later, as Alec whimpered in his sleep, tossing and turning. Magnus sat up, heart in his throat. He reached over, shaking Alec.

“Alec,” Magnus whispered softly, not wanting to startle him.

Alec cried out again.

“Alexander,” Magnus said, louder this time, shaking him harder.

Alec jerked awake, sitting up so fast they nearly knocked heads. Magnus leaned back just in time.

Alec’s heavy breathing filled the room as he hid his face in his hands.

“Alexander?”

***

Alec turned to Magnus, mind still in nightmare mood, coming out of the dream slowly. He blinked Magnus into focus and then moved without thinking, pulling Magnus close and wrapping himself around him.

Magnus gasped, stilling before wrapping his arms around Alec. Alec buried his head in Magnus’ stomach, breathing ragged.

Magnus ran his fingers through Alec’s hair, whispering words Alec didn’t understand. Slowly, his breathing evened out again.

This, Alec thought, closing his eyes. This was what he wanted.

***

“Do you want to talk about it?” Magnus whispered. They’d been laying there for a while now, neither able to go back to sleep.

Alec shook his head against Magnus’ side but started talking a few minutes later. “I keep… Keep seeing Izzy. Attacked. Bleeding at my feet. Dying.”

Magnus’s heart ached with the need to comfort Alec. “Isabelle’s fine, Alexander.”

“I know, I tell myself that every night before I go to bed and when I wake up from the nightmares… But, if you weren’t there… She wouldn’t have been fine and I just... I can’t stop _seeing_ it.”

Magnus hummed softly. Everything was easier right then, in the quiet of the night, in the dark bedroom, just the two of them. “I could give you a potion for dreamless sleep,” Magnus offered.

“Magic?”

“Magic.”

Alec looked up, grinned and shook his head. “I’m good right now,” he whispered, moving up slightly to bury his head in the crook of Magnus’ neck. “It’s not so bad…when I’m here.”

Magnus was finding it hard to breathe, laying still with Alec curled into him. So many thoughts were flashing through his mind, his chest was tight with a million things he needed to say.

Magnus didn’t know how long they laid there, neither of them sleeping. Magnus felt content even as he panicked internally. Because…because he wanted this. And he didn’t deserve it. At least, not yet.

“Alec,” he whispered softly.

Alec turned slightly, burrowing into Magnus’ side even more, grip tightening around Magnus.

“Alexander,” Magnus tried again, careful not to speak too loudly in the silent night.

“Hmm?” Alec finally muttered, sounding more awake than asleep.

“I just…I have to explain…just a little, okay?” Magnus’ heart was pounding so hard in his chest Alec had to feel it.

“Okay, go ahead,” Alec finally whispered, lips brushing against the side of Magnus’ neck.

Magnus closed his eyes tightly. Licking his lips before talking. “There are a million reasons I told myself not to tell you everything,” he started. He felt Alec’s breath catch for a moment before going back to normal.

Magnus opened his eyes and stared up at the dark ceiling. “It’s...just, I wasn’t expecting you and I didn’t know how to handle things and… I’m idiot, honestly, because I know I should’ve told you. I…mean, it’s you, I should’ve known you wouldn’t…wouldn’t react like some people. But…it’s not always that easy.”

Alec moved suddenly and Magnus stopped breathing because he pulled away, turning over onto his back. And here it was, Magnus had ruined it again.

Magnus’ breath whooshed out of him when Alec suddenly pulled on his arm, forcing Magnus to lay across his stomach, wrapping his arms around Magnus tightly.

“I’m not going to pretend to understand because I don’t…yet and it’s late. But…we’ll figure it out…if you want too.”

“I do,” Magnus whispered and somehow that was enough, for just then.

***

In the morning, everything was complicated again. Alec woke in an empty bed.

He panicked at first, all the old doubts rushing his mind until he heard sounds from the kitchen. Pans being taken down, something falling and then, “Church, you demon! I thought we were friends now.”

Alec couldn’t help but grin, pulling himself from bed. He showered quickly because he had to get to work, and he didn’t want too much time to think.

Dressing in clothes he kept at Magnus’, he headed to the kitchen silently. Magnus was standing at the stove, barefoot, bare-chested, with an apron on.

Alec smirked, “So I did rub off on you.”

Magnus shrieked a little, jumping. Alec laughed and Magnus glared over his shoulder.

Turning back to the stove, Magnus shook his head. “What do you mean?”

“There’s still real food in your kitchen, instead of just leftover takeout.”

Magnus shrugged, scooping the eggs and bacon onto two plates. “Maybe I rushed out this morning to buy groceries to make you breakfast.”

Alec smirked, moving to take out the coffee and start a pot. “Sooo…can’t you just like, I don’t know, magically cook things?”

Magnus looked up suddenly and Alec regretted the question, stomach sinking.

Magnus just smirked, “I could, I suppose. Usually I just,” he snapped his fingers and two paper cups of coffee appeared on the counter next to him.

Alec felt his eyes growing wide. “Did you steal that?” he teased, putting the coffee grounds up before grabbing the cups to follow Magnus to the dining table.

Magnus shrugged. “Technically yes, but they won’t even notice.”

Alec shook his head at Magnus, pretending to be disappointed. “I never knew you were so evil.”

Magnus rolled his eyes, chucking the apron away. Alec didn’t look at his bare chest even though they were technically still together and there was no reason he couldn’t. No, he told himself as his eyes strayed. He turned to his breakfast and the next time he looked up, Magnus was smirking and had a shirt on.

Alec glared at him, rolling his eyes. “Question,” Alec said.

Magnus glanced up from his coffee, “Anything.” And Alec could tell he meant it, that somewhere in the night they’d agreed to something. To giving this a try. To not running. At least, Alec hoped that’s what that tone, that look, was supposed to mean. It was what he desperately wanted it to mean.

Still, Alec wanted to keep this, the light and easy back and forth. So instead of any of the many, pressing questions he went with; “Well, you’re four hundred years old, and an all powerful warlock with magic and whatnot… Why are you scared of a cat?” Alec asked, then looked pointedly to where Church sat a few feet away, watching them intently.

“First of all,” Magnus said. Alec could see the grin he was trying to hold back. “Church isn’t a cat, he’s a demon. Secondly, I think our relationship has…improved recently.”

***

Neither of them wanted Alec to leave, they wanted to stay there in the moment that was simple and easy and be together. But Alec had work.

Magnus felt grounded with Alec there, felt like it was as simple as ever. Like nothing had changed and everything would be fine. He also felt stupid, trying to push Alec away, like he had any right to decide what was best for Alec.

Magnus didn’t know what had happened the night before, but, when he woke up, he knew Isabelle was right and he had to do whatever he could to fight for Alec. To get Alec to trust him again. For this to work, because without it… Magnus didn’t want to think about that.

Alec paused at the door. Magnus stood uncertainty near the couch. Alec shut the door again and turned to Magnus. He crossed the space between them in two steps, ending up close enough for Magnus to smell his soap and shampoo on him.

Alec leaned in, brushing his lips against Magnus’ cheek. “I… There’s still things I need to think about, figure out but…” he sounded uncertain and then entirely too certain, “We’ll figure it out.”

***

“Alec? Alec!” Clary snapped her fingers in front of Alec’s face, snapping him out of his daze.

Alec blinked, looking over at Clary. They were in the planning room of his office, where they set up samples for their customers. It was a wide open room, walls perfectly white, impossibly high ceiling. They sat at a tall table in the middle, Clary had Alec’s idea book in front of her, going over the final details for her mom’s surprise anniversary party.

“Where are you today?” Clary asked, eyes back on the book.

Alec shook his head, “Sorry.” He took a sip of his coffee, pointing out a certain picture in the book to her. “That’s the one you wanted blown up to go over the cake, right?”

Clary smiled, staring at the picture of her parents. “Yes, that one.”

“Great. The tablecloths are all a pale, cerulean blue. I emailed you the playlist, did you go over it?”

Clary nodded, looking up as her bright red hair fell in her face.

Alec stared out the window behind her, remembering that morning. How easy things had been. Maybe it would be just that easy. Falling apart, snapping back together.

Alec knew there was still a lot to talk about with Magnus, to learn about him, but…it didn’t scare him right then, as much as make him excited. Make butterflies swarm in his stomach like he was about to go on a first date, instead of simply seeing the man he’d been dating for the last four and a half months.

“Alec,” Clary snapped again.

Alec shook his head, turning to the tiny redhead again. “Sorry, what?’

Clary rolled her eyes. “Magnus?”

Alec prided himself at being good at his job, no great. And professional. If this was anyone but Clary… He’d have to fire himself, he thought.

“I’m sorry, Clary. What were you saying?” he asked, forcing himself to pay attention.

Clary gave him a small smile. “It doesn’t matter, Alec. I trust you fully. I’m sure the party will be perfect.”

“Thanks.”

Clary shrugged, “You’re the best at what you do. Now, are you going to go see him? You know, since you were supposed to be working with me for the next hour and then you’re off for the day, and I’m such a good friend that I’ll let you leave now and never say a word about it?”

Alec grinned. Standing up, he pulled her into a tight hug. “You’re the best.”

Clary laughed as Alec walked toward his corner office. “I’m telling Izzy you said that!”

Alec waved her away.

***

Magnus couldn’t concentrate all day. He’d attempted to work on some spells but he’d been hired for a few complicated jobs and was simply too distracted to work on them at the moment. Eventually, he’d given up and gone down to the store.

He’d been neglecting his little business. He made better money selling real magic to downworlders and select mundanes. But the shop was a comfort, the first thing he’d done when he rediscovered his magic. Plus, it was easy work and a good cover. The magic that went into the salves and potions he sold there didn’t take anything from him and he got to experiment, what could be better?

Hours after he got to the store, the cause of his recent incapability to concentrate, walked in.

“Alexander,” Magnus called, unable to hold back his excitement. He tried to bite back a smile but failed.

He’d been terrified that Alec would leave that morning and things would go back to being painful and awkward. To them avoiding each other. All day, he’d tried to keep his mind occupied so he wouldn’t overthink things.

Alec walked in wearing a dark purple shirt with nice black slacks and a matching coat. His hair was slicked up and he looked better rested than he had the last two times he’d dropped in on Magnus.

Alec smiled, sauntering up to the counter. He stepped behind it without a thought. Magnus raised an eyebrow as Alec leaned back against the counter and pulled a piece of paper from his pocket.

“First, are all these, —” he waved to everything around them “—made with magic?”

Magnus frowned, leaning over to see what was written on the paper. Alec looked up, giving him a pouty face when he caught Magnus trying to read his paper. Alec pulled it away, holding it against his chest.

“What is that?” Magnus laughed, turning away from Alec to organize the sample size potions he kept up front.

“This,” Alec said, dangling the paper in front of Magnus and yanking it back before Magnus could grab it. “Is a list of questions I have for you. There’s a lot, so you may want to start talking.”

Magnus forced himself to breathe slowly so he wouldn’t be in danger of panicking. “What was that first question?”

Alec sighed, but repeated his question. “Your magical salves and lotions, are they magical because they’re actually magic?”

Magnus grinned, winking over at him. “Is that a surprise? I told you the special ingredient was magic.”

Alec huffed, but Magnus caught the smile he tried to hide behind his piece of paper. “Well, yes but I didn’t know magic was _real_ then.”

“Here, give this to me,” Magnus said, grabbing for the paper.

“NO! It’s mine!”

Magnus laughed as Alec nearly tripped, rushing around to the other side of the counter. Alec gave Magnus a stern look, “Behave.”

Magnus raised his hands, biting his lip so he wouldn’t smile. “I’m sorry, Alexander. Please, continue.”

Most the questions were nonsense, stupid things concerning magic, but they talked for hours. Everything else could wait. The most important thing right then was that neither of them could stop grinning, leaning on opposite sides of the counter, barely glancing away from each other, eyes locked.

The most important thing was that they were trying.

**Author's Note:**

> Guys...I think we're here, heading to the actual end of the road. About five more updates!
> 
> Love you, thank you for reading and your continued support you amazing biscuits! <3<3<3
> 
> Hit me up on [Tumblr](http://imawriteriwrite.tumblr.com/)!


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